You’ll be pleased to know that this is the year when we all come to terms with death.

I know you’re excited, because we’ve decided to abandon the delusion that it won’t happen to us!

In a few days, we’ll stop pretending exercise or kale or trust funds or collagen injections will prevent us from eventually rotting back into the Earth.

It’s going to be great!

This year we’ll admit that no matter where we put our faith, we aren’t certain of anything Beyond.

We might hold out hope, but still,

We’ll admit that this strange experience of self-awareness will simply disappear into the ether! Someday, “we” will simply cease to exist!

What a relief!

We’re all going to accept that, within a few decades, our lives are unlikely to be remembered even by our direct descendants.

Won’t that be awesome?!

We’ll jump into the void shouting “Cannonball!” and spend the rest of our conscious days in

blissful acceptance of our inevitable end.

You’ll be happy to know that today, we’ll finally be able to pursue truth, beauty and life.

We’ll finally come together to make life as long as possible

And as good as possible

For as many people as possible

Freed by the deep personal faith that we’re all going to die.